So far I have watched Loveless (the anime) for three times. It is an exceptional work, in that it can create the most powerful mood despite… well, everything: that all the characters seem a little perverted in some way (even the psychiatrist!), that the plot was jumpy and ambiguous, that many things seem incomplete on the whole. Despite all this, I find it deeply moving, and that it can stir something deep in your heart. And somehow even though the character relationships had so many unhealthy elements in them, they remain extremely sweet and sensational.

The last episode was very conclusive despite leaving many unanswered questions and loose ends. The last line of Semei suggested that it was about the struggle between Ritsuka’s will to live and his fate. Throughout the show, there is the continuous mention of Ritsuka’s present two-year-old self, and the old self. At the beginning, Ritsuka was content that one day his present self would die, and he will be replaced by the Ritsuka that his mother was always waiting for. He had to make memories by taking photos, because one day he will disappear. And he did not know how to love others, and hated it when someone said such things to him.

Episode 11 and 12 both focused on how Ritsuka came to learn to love his friends and Soubi, which seems contradictory to his name “Loveless”, which was to be his fate. He even had so much fun that he forgot to take photos, which used to be of such importance to him. When he could do without photos, it was already hinted that he longer believed in, or longed for his disappearance as much. Finally, in the dream in episode 12, he was given the choice: to give up his present self and become his “true” self (which does not seem to be his “old” self from two years ago anymore, but “Loveless”, one without love). The deaths in the dream are highly symbolic, because as Loveless he will lose his newfound love for those people. In the end he denied the choice, which was to deny his fate.

The fact that Semei’s “ghost” seemed to have put the test to him is significant. Semei, despite being absent, was central to the story by his influence on both Ritsuka and Soubi. Semei’s “ghost” was hinted to have sent the code-message to Ritsuka (as Ritsu disclaimed the fact). He lured Ritsuka into the dream with the incense, and directed Soubi to cause the deaths in the dream (since Soubi was “ordered”, and he would not have taken an order from anyone but Semei). In other terms, he presented the choice to Ritsuka: to accept his fate or not.

When Ritsuka refused, “Semei” disappeared. Symbolically, it might mean that at that moment that Ritsuka could somehow finally let go of Semei’s death. He was shown to be obstinate about it all along, and it was also tied with his identity: he believes that he had to find out the truth before “disappearing”. But if he were not to disappear, could he finally accept the truth about Semei’s death? (I acknowledge only the story as presented in the anime: I am aware that Semei did not truly die in the manga. I believe the anime, in order to stand on its own, had quite a different message, and therefore the two can be treated separately.)

At the same time, the struggle against “fate” was evident in other characters. The “change” in Soubi that Kio addressed, brought about by Ritsuka, was significant, as it shows that Soubi was also able to finally let go of Semei’s death. At the end, when he says that he would die if he were ordered by Semei to kill Ritsuka, it clearly indicates a small triumph in his struggle against fate: for to follow Semei’s orders were his fate. Therefore, when Ritsuka denied his fate in the dream, Soubi also disappeared (initially – before Semei): that was the Soubi who, in the dream, followed Semei’s orders to kill, despite not wanting to. Through Ritsuka’s triumph in denying his fate, Soubi was also freed from his strict obedience in Semei’s orders, even if not entirely. By that I mean he could not disobey Semei, but by choosing his death over the order, he triumphs against fate.

In fact, Soubi was shown to be in a deep struggle throughout the entire show, and not only in the final episode. He lived under the shadow of Semei, and despaired at not being able to find the master he looked for in Ritsuka, which he expressed explicitly after he saved Hitome-sensei. The former was evident through his obeying Semei’s orders despite his absence (such as in the case of taking Youji and Natsuo home), while the despair would have led him to his self-destructive ways (through fighting alone and deliberately getting hurt – as he gave up on the fight against Yamato and Kouya). It was made evident from the start that Semei’s orders were absolute while Ritsuka’s weren’t, as he frequently broke his promises to Ritsuka, and would never override Semei’s orders if they contradicted with Ritsuka’s (such as when he consistently refuses to tell Ritsuka about Semei’s death or the Seven Moons). However, in the battle against Kouya and Yamato, he obeyed Ritsuka’s order to abandon the fight despite that Semei would have done otherwise: this shows a certain change in him, even if subtle.

There are many things that remained unclear, but instead of hindering the story, they contribute to a tone that is powerful and mysterious, and beautiful at the same time. The symbolism is very strong: for example, Soubi frequently chooses needles to be the attack of choice, a reference to the needles that Ritsu used to pin his butterfly collections. Butterflies are of course a recurrent imagery that persists throughout: in Soubi’s paintings, earrings, the fact that they made Ritsuka think of him, and that they appear randomly everywhere. I think of them more as a beautiful imagery than one of a significant symbolic meaning, though they do reveal something about Soubi, when he said that he hated them for being beautiful and vulnerable at the same time. It also symbolizes his association with Ritsu, which he abhorred, but could not help its being an inseparable part of him and something that changed him greatly.

The line that appeared in the episode “Skinless” was intriguing: “The skin that separates you and me is a nuisance.” It was assumingly said by Soubi when he leaned forward and kissed Ritsuka. It was entirely incomprehensible to me when I saw the episode for the first time, but I think it could have referred to the skin on which the “true name” was written – then it may be interpreted that the fact they did not have the same name was hindering their bond.

Another symbol, or element that recurs often is, of course, “pain”. Pain was said to be quite essential – those who could feel pain would win against those who could not, even though common sense says otherwise. Soubi’s comments on “pain” are especially interesting. He said he did not mind pain, and that he liked the word. Pain was very much associated with his submissive nature to his Sacrifice, as it was how Ritsu taught him. This seems to correlate with the instances in which he deliberately sought pain: when he asked for the piercing from Ritsuka, believing that the pain would become a bond between them; and when he endured unnecessary pain from the Zero’s by choosing to fight without Ritsuka. Ritsuka was “a small child” and could not be like Semei, and he could only retrace his role as the submissive Fighter through pain.

Likewise, Ritsuka discovered that “pain might change something”, when he specifically ordered Soubi to administer pain to Kouya and Yamato without physical injury. Zero’s are not made to feel pain. The pain from that battle, resulting from Yamato’s fading name, alerted them of their fate: that the Sacrifice would be replaced when they were not longer useful to the Fighter. In the end they triumphed over their fate as well, coherent to the recurrent theme of the show.

Even though it was the third time for me to watch Loveless, there was much to discover, re-discover, and pondered upon; but in the end, what makes me love Loveless is not that it provides room for thought, but that it moves me deeply, and has a great power over me every time I watch it.